- the ability to be fully aware of what one is experiencing, without becoming at the same time, lost in that same experience
- the quality of non-attached, non-judgmental observation of experience (courtesy of wildmind.org)
- an elevated level of awareness
Take a moment to glance at these two pictures:
[On a side note, the second image is courtesy of foreverangels.org. If you have time, read about ChaCha's story here at ForeverAngels. It truly is a wonderful and uplifting story of fighting through dire circumstances.]
In the two photos above we see two women in, seemingly, the same circumstance. From their clothes and the background you can tell they are in poverty and, what's more, are flanked by their children; an added responsibility. But the pictures aren't the same. The heaviness and hopelessness that haunts the first picture seems absent in the second. But, why? Why does the first mothers' face succumb to depression while the second mother smiles in a shack that has no running water or electricity? Did we miss something here? Does the second mother know something we as outside observers can never know? Aren't both mother's present circumstances the same? Then why, upon looking at these two photos, are we confronted by two different outlooks?
I developed this simple equation some time ago through meditation and thinking back on my problems and how I dealt with them. This equation has also been a source of relief for me as I hope it'll be for you.
I remember one day I was driving home from a particularly frustrating day at work. Nothing that whole day seemed to go right: I was on edge, my coworkers had been on edge, and it seemed like every embittered, ill-mannered person within a 5 mile radius had decided to be a customer that day. It's safe to say I was relieved when my shift was over and, I suppose, it was these thoughts that passed through my mind as my car began to shake and my back tire blew out. Of course, I pulled over as quickly as possible and pulled out my cellphone only to find I hadn't charged it (like I was supposed to) the day before and it was now dead. So with the frustration of work fresh on my mind, I added the frustration of my own stupidity to the mix. I rashly got out my car (and this is a very important point that comes to play later) and angrily started the walk alongside the highway to the nearest exit.
Not a minute into my journey, a woman (I never learned her name), pulled over and offered to take me to the nearest gas station. Once at the station I offered her money to which she refused and, after a hasty goodbye, made a beeline straight to the nearest payphone. I called for someone to pick me up and, in the meantime, I sat there, my disgust ever-growing as were the thoughts in my head as to all the things I could've been doing if I weren't stuck there. In time, my friend showed up and we drove back to my car where I was given the cherry on top of the proverbial cake; I had left my car unlocked and, worse, an opportunist had stolen my new car radio.
Words....mere words can not describe how pissed I was. And what was worse, I felt like a child locked in a fierce temper tantrum I had no energy for yet still participated in. I thought back, enraged, about all the times I had found an abandoned wallet, credit card, purse, or any valuable and had done the right thing in turning it in. I thought about all the times I could have stolen but didn't and felt, in my anger fueled ignorance, that that somehow had given me some sort of "karma pass" to not have things taken from me. Where was the fairness?
But then, a sliver of reason shined through the chaos. What use was there in being angry? Was my anger going to bring my radio back? In fact when I thought about it, wasn't my anger the reason I got my radio stolen in the first place? Would I had honestly left my car unlocked on the side of the highway had I been in my right mind? The answer was no, but though I couldn't go back in time and change my outlook then, I knew I didn't have to let that same angry outlook blind me in the present.
This was the first time I "walked the talk" and actually used my equation to change my present outlook.
We'll dig into the deeper importance of past experiences later, but I realized upon listing them a simple fact: the past is the past. Suck from it all the wisdom you can and move on. I couldn't go back in time and charge those lost credit cards if I wanted to (nor would I if I could). I couldn't go back and lock my car. I had no power over my tire blowing out and my day at work was over, yet I was still seething about it. From then on I gathered that the 'past experience' part of the equation was something I had no control over. I could not change the past, but rather its level of usefulness. But, more on that later.
In this moment, I felt like I had moved from the passenger's seat into the driver's. I had found control not in trying to control and process everything, but in finding out what I couldn't control and had no business processing in the first place. I didn't have to deal with the past. The past was only an issue as long as I let it affect my present; the only way that could happen was through my thoughts.
